Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
