do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
