She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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