just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
