She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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