After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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