no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
