I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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