Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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