we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
