I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I intend to get homeless drunk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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