I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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