I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
