Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
