God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
