Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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