Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize