you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize