I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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