STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize