He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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