Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
