4 words: hood of his car
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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