youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
