I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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