I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
