Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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