Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
