i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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