I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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