Nicole vs. Life
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
