they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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