it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize