remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
