problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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