please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
