Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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