i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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