I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
