To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
