im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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