Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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