you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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