I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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