hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize