You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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