Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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