I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
