i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
