4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
