we're blogging at a bar
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
