I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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