a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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