I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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