Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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