fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
