What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
