Dual....:-)
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
