D3 body, D1 cock
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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