College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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