Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize