Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
