She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
