I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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