My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
