What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
