we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
